NOURISH TOGETHER - WEEKLY NEWSLETTER - 6/26/25

note from jamie

I like to share things that light me up, fill me with joy, and make my life easier. Nothing is sponsored. These are just things that are helping me along my journey.

The Pitfalls of All-or-Nothing Thinking —

And a More Nourishing Way Forward

Yesterday, a loving and wise friend gently reminded me of the pitfalls of all-or-nothing thinking—and since then, I’ve been noticing how often it sneaks into my life disguised as good intentions, high standards, or even love.

You know the voice I’m talking about, right? The one that gently nudges, “If you can’t do it perfectly, maybe it’s better not to do it at all.” Or whispers, “If you’re not doing everything, you might be letting someone down.” That voice is sneaky. And persistent. And wow, does it shut me down.

Let me give you a few examples from my own life:

I have the best intentions when it comes to replying to text messages, emails, or social posts. I want my responses to be thoughtful, uplifting, wise, and full of appreciation. But then the pressure builds—and the response never gets sent. Days go by. Sometimes weeks. I think of the person often, I care so deeply, but the message sits half-written or not written at all.

Meanwhile, my sister-in-law replies to texts with a single word. Okay. Thanks. No. I’m always slightly shocked by the boldness—and deeply impressed. To be honest, I’m a little envious. It’s clean. It’s simple. It gets the job done. And most of all, it keeps the connection open.

The same thing happens with birthdays. I have grand visions of curated gift boxes or handwritten letters filled with meaningful affirmations and perfect words. And then... nothing. The day passes. The gift never gets sent. Not because I didn’t care, but because I cared so much I froze.

I still remember a colleague who used to send my family cards for every occasion. Just a simple card. No message. No “Love.” No “Thinking of You.” Just... Michelle. And we loved it. We felt so seen and cared for. She let it be enough.

All-or-nothing thinking shows up in my business too. When Nourish’s cash flow gets tight, the anxious spiral begins: Should I just shut it all down? Sell off the inventory? Go back to Corporate America? It’s dramatic. And not helpful. But it’s how the fear tries to protect me—by pushing me into big, black-and-white reactions instead of small, steady solutions.

Even at home, this mindset can be paralyzing. When the house is messy, I tell myself it all needs to be cleaned now. Instead of starting with a drawer or a dish, I do... nothing. The overwhelm of everything keeps me from doing something.

And lately, as I walk through this sacred, heartbreaking season of being with my sister in her final days, I feel the all-or-nothing tug again. If I’m not by her side all day, every day, I’m letting her down. I’m letting everyone down. My heart knows that’s not true—but all-or-nothing thinking is a loud, persistent liar.

Here’s the thing I’m learning:

All-or-nothing thinking is often a symptom of perfectionism. And perfectionism, at its core, is a defense mechanism. It’s our brain’s way of protecting us from feelings of inadequacy, vulnerability, or failure. But in trying to protect us, it disconnects us—from each other, from joy, from progress, from presence.

So what’s the antidote?

Gentleness. Smallness. Bold imperfection.

Respond to the text with just a heart emoji.
Send the card with just your name.
Clean just the table.
Answer one email.
Show up for one hour.
Do something, not everything.

Let’s be gentle with ourselves as we practice this. Let’s remind each other that halfway is still progress. That small is still sacred. That doing some is not the same as doing nothing.

Perfection isn’t the goal. Presence is.

We don’t need to be everything to everyone. We just need to be with each other—honestly, imperfectly, lovingly. That’s more than enough.

With you in this,
Jamie