Recipe of the Week
My friend Tammy shared this week’s recipe, Everyday Quinoa.
It’s a simple, easy recipe with lemon, shallot and herbs. It makes a delicious side dish that is vegan, gluten-free, and full of protein.
Tammy told me, “I love this recipe. I really should double it because it never lasts long enough.”
I’ve been meeting with a wonderful group of women to navigate the book, “Playing Big” by Tara Mohr. This past week, we dug into the chapter on Communicating with Power.
Following is an excerpt:
“Listen with fresh ears to the women around you, and you’ll hear some odd turns of phrase. You’ll notice that much of the time their words sound like a kind of struggle– between saying something and holding back, between asserting and not being too assertive, between sharing an idea and diminishing it.
You’ve probably felt this struggle inside of you.
Most women I know feel great pressure–sometimes conscious, sometimes unconscious–to say what they really want to say, while also adhering to feminine norms of being ‘nice,’ ever flexible, every conciliatory, ever calm.”
Here are common undermining speech habits:
- “I’m no expert, but…”
- “I know you’ve all been thinking about this for a longer time than I have…”
- “I could be wrong, but…”
- “I’m just thinking off the top of my head…”
- “Does that make sense?”
- “Sorry, but”
- “Just a minute”
- “A little bit”
- “Kind of/Almost”
- Uptalk and sing-songy tone
- Clause after clause- no “periods” in speech
- Substituting a question for a statement
Sound familiar?! Yeah, me, too.
“Many women are caught in a double bind with their communications, dumbing down how powerfully we come across in order to be perceived as likeable. Instead, we can consciously convey both competence and likeability by dropping undermining speech habits while amping up the warmth with which we communicate.”
Let’s commit to noticing these habits and changing them, one at a time.
Our voices matter.
Live well. Be kind.