NOURISH TOGETHER - WEEKLY NEWSLETTER - 3/13/25

Note from Jamie

I like to share things that light me up, fill me with joy, and make my life easier. Nothing is sponsored. These are just things that are helping me along my journey.

The People-Pleasing Trap: Learning to Prioritize Yourself

Why do I want people to like me so much? It’s a question I’ve been asking myself a lot lately.

This past week offered me a front-row seat to my own people-pleasing tendencies. Despite feeling absolutely miserable—nose running, cough attacking—I still thought I should show up for Career Day at a local high school. Why? Because I didn’t want to let anyone down.

When someone extended a kind gesture toward me, my immediate reaction was to return the favor tenfold, as if kindness is some kind of debt I owe back in bulk.

And when someone crossed a boundary? Instead of addressing it directly, I tiptoed around it, carefully choosing my words so as not to make them uncomfortable—meanwhile, I was left feeling uneasy and unseen.

I am a recovering people-pleaser.

Some days, I feel like I’ve made real progress—setting boundaries, saying no, prioritizing my needs. But then, there are the moments when I slip back into old habits, defaulting to the belief that my worth is measured by how much I do for others and how much people like me.

The People-Pleasing Checklist

As I reflected on my actions and reactions, I realized I needed a way to check in with myself before committing to something. Here are some questions I came up with:

Am I agreeing to this out of guilt, fear, or the need for approval?
Am I sacrificing my own needs, health, or peace to make someone else comfortable?
Would I expect this same level of effort from someone else, or am I holding myself to a higher standard?
Is this kindness coming from a place of true generosity, or do I feel like I owe something?

How to Break Free from People-Pleasing

Recognizing when you’re people-pleasing is one thing; changing the habit is another. Here are some actionable steps to help:

Pause Before Responding – When someone asks for something, give yourself a moment. A simple “Let me check my schedule and get back to you” can create space for an honest decision.
Practice Saying No – It doesn’t have to be harsh. A kind but firm “I wish I could, but I can’t” is enough. You don’t owe long explanations.
Reframe Discomfort – Feeling guilty for setting boundaries doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It means you’re doing something different.
Do a Self-Check – Use the checklist above to gauge whether you’re being appropriately kind or overextending yourself.
Give as Much as You Want, Not as Much as You Think You Should – Acts of kindness should come from the heart, not from fear of disapproval.
Surround Yourself with People Who Respect Your Boundaries – The right people in your life won’t punish you for prioritizing yourself.
Celebrate Progress – Being a recovering people-pleaser means you’re trying, learning, and growing. Progress isn’t always linear, and that’s okay.

People-pleasing isn’t about being kind—it’s about overextending yourself at the expense of your well-being. True kindness includes kindness toward yourself. The next time you feel the urge to please at your own expense, take a deep breath, check in with yourself, and remember: you don’t have to set yourself on fire to keep others warm.

xoxo,

Jamie

Inspiration

Nourish Pick of the Week

Throat Chakra Roller Blend w/ Amazonite Crystals

Find Your Voice 💙

Infused with soothing Amazonite crystals and a powerful blend of essential oils, our Throat Chakra Roller Blend helps you speak your truth with confidence and clarity.

Perfect for setting boundaries and expressing yourself authentically!

(I've been rolling it on morning and night this week!)

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Workout of the Week

I love moving my body and working out to YouTube Fitness videos.

I've been under the weather this week, so I've been focusing on gentle stretching. This 30-min full-body stretching video is one of my absolute favorites.

Enjoy!

Workout with Me