How to Show Up for Someone in Grief (Even in the Smallest Ways)

Note from Jamie

I like to share things that light me up, fill me with joy, and make my life easier. Nothing is sponsored. These are just things that are helping me along my journey.

How to Show Up for Someone in Grief (Even in the Smallest Ways)

When someone we love is hurting—grieving a loss, walking through heartbreak, or navigating a season of deep sorrow—it’s only natural to want to show up in a way that feels worthy of the moment.

Sometimes, though, I’ve let that desire for a big, meaningful gesture keep me from doing anything at all. I’ve told myself I needed the perfect words, the grand expression, the time to do it "right." And so, I waited… and sometimes missed the moment entirely.

What I’ve learned—especially in this season of losing my sister—is that showing up doesn’t need to be big. It doesn’t need to be profound. It just needs to be something.

And often, the smallest somethings are what carry us.

I want to share with you a few of the ways people showed up for me during my sister’s dying and passing—small gestures and beautiful acts of kindness that will forever live in my heart. My hope is that they’ll inspire you the next time you wonder what to do or say for someone walking through loss.

💌 Cards in the Mail
Every card felt like an extra warm hug. The ones that included memories of Jenny made me laugh, cry, and feel so connected to her spirit. But even the ones with just a few words reminded me that I was not alone.

📸 Photos + Stories on Social Media
I was so moved when my sister’s friends shared photos and memories of her on Facebook. I downloaded them all. I revisit them often. They feel like little windows back to her.

💗 Loving My Loved Ones
When friends sent cards and emails to my parents… oh, that touched my heart in a way I can’t even describe. When someone loves the people you love, it feels sacred.

📱 Text Messages That Didn’t Expect a Reply
"I’m thinking of you. No need to respond.” Those check-ins gave me comfort without pressure.

🌿 Gifts from the Garden
Fresh veggies. A vase of flowers from a friend’s yard. A plant clipping. These ordinary things felt extraordinary in their timing and thoughtfulness.

🥗 A Meal—Made with Care
Because of our food allergies, I normally decline meal offers. But one friend said, "I’ve got you—just send me the list." She made the most delicious, allergy-friendly salad that we devoured for days.

🍓 Homemade Treats
Jam. Banana bread. A thoughtful bag of snacks. These may seem small, but they were the perfect gifts—simple comforts that nourished our tummies and our hearts.

☕ Favorite Coffee Beans
I started telling people who asked how to help: “I’d love a bag of your favorite dark roast.” Friends did just that. Every morning, their love brewed alongside my coffee.

🚶 Walks + Invitations to Brunch
Just having someone invite me to move, breathe, or eat was such a gift. Even if I couldn’t always say yes, the invitation meant so much.

🧩 Puzzles
These gifts were especially thoughtful because they showed that my friends really know me. They remembered how much I enjoy puzzles and offered something simple and comforting to help me unwind.

🎁 Meaningful Keepsakes
Some friends gave me gifts that were incredibly personal—a rainbow catcher, a lantern, jewelry with Jenny’s photo, a journal titled “Conversations I Wish I Could Have with My Sister” embossed with her nickname “Sissy Poo.” Cue the tears.

🎨 Art, Poetry + Beautiful Tributes
One friend created a piece of art in Jenny’s memory. Another wrote a poem about her. Someone else sent me a photo of crystals they had lovingly arranged in celebration and honor of her life. These heartfelt expressions felt like tributes to her spirit—and reminded me how deeply she touched others, too.

🦋 Firefly Gifts
Jenny told us she'd come back as a firefly, so every firefly-themed gift—a scarf, a pair of earrings, even a wind chime with her name on it—felt like a whisper from her.

💬 Comments + Messages Online
Every reply to my Facebook posts and every email from this very newsletter touched me. It meant you were bearing witness to my sister’s life, and to my grief.

🚗 Support Behind the Scenes
A dear friend helped care for Emma by taking her to appointments, which allowed me to be more present with my parents. She added sweet touches—like a stop at Starbucks or picking up Emma’s favorite smoothie—that made Emma feel extra loved. It was a thoughtful way of supporting our family during a time when even the everyday things felt heavy.

None of these things were too small. In fact, they were everything.

And yes, there were grander gestures, too—stunning and generous and unforgettable. But it’s the full mosaic that mattered. The accumulation of kindness. The steady stream of presence in so many forms.

The biggest thing I’ll take with me from this time is this:

It doesn’t matter how big the gesture. It matters that you try.

That you reach out. That you send the card. That you drop off the flowers or send the text. That you remember, even if only for a moment, that someone’s heart is aching and you want to help hold it.

I will always remember the people who showed up for me.

And now, I hope this gives you ideas and encouragement for how to show up for someone you love, too.

With all my heart,
Jamie 💛

Inspiration

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